I’m making a list of things to be proud of.
I spend way too much time telling myself – even subconsciously – that I have failed. You didn’t write enough today. You could have walked home. You haven’t practised your flute in months. You did badly in that exam.
So now is where I turn around. I’m not saying I’m going to be able to stop telling myself these things immediately. I can’t. I believe them, after all. But I’m going to spend some time telling myself about the things I’ve done right.
Miriam Joy did a post on this which inspired me to do the same, because I am always criticising myself and am generally terrible at recognising my achievements.
So, things I have done over 2013/2014:
- Between my writing and my editing, I wrote 50k last month. I spent half (or thereabouts) of January without my anti-histamines, which I have to take pretty much every day to stop my hands from feeling (and looking) like I’ve just fallen into a lake of highly venomous piranhas. *cough* My hands don’t like me using them for typing when they’re like this.
- I started a blog. (Hi!)
- I won NaNoWriMo. (At a total of 111,111 words, and I should really stop beating myself up about the fact that I didn’t make my target of 150,000.) I also won Camp NaNo in both sessions.
- I plotted and wrote an entire novel (no, winning NaNo does not necessarily mean this). It was slightly less than 100k. I am in the process of editing it.
- I have written regularly (read: at least 500 words every day) since the beginning of January.
- I started playing my flute again. I haven’t played my flute in a good two months, and I didn’t realise until I picked it up again how much I’d missed it. Hopefully my lessons will start again soon, if all goes to plan.
So you see, I am actually pretty awesome. 2014 is my Year of Awesome. I am going to keep looking at what I have done over what I haven’t. I am going to learn to love myself.